It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
