six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Operation Purity has been aborted
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize