forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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