I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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