wakey wakey hands off snakey
from now on my penis is your penis
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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