Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
