brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
