My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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