Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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