We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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