I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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