my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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