If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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