So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
only if we run a train.
done.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
