i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
