i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
