Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
