I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
