I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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