Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We got so high we made milksteak
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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