wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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