the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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