please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
