Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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