remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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