hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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