is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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