I need to stop coming to work sober
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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