I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
