Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
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Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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