Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
