I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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