I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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