I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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