I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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