Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
don't judge my taste in strippers
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
