just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
