we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
