Sponge bath it is.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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