but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
