Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
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You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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