Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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