May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
