omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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