my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
