I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
