My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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