At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
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Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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