I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
