i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
