I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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