I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
