So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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