gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
