I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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