life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
vagina is talking i cant
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
