my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
