I think i peed on brittanys purse
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
