you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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