Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
