if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
