It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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