She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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