very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
