Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
