I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
