i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
