dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
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I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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