That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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