i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
