mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize