There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
