she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
