why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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