I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
