Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
