I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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